Forgive
‘Forgive and forget’. I have heard that expression more than once in my life but have never give it much thought. Now that I have thought about it, it does not make much sense. Shouldnt it be ‘forget and forgive’? Dont you have to forget the wrong before you can forgive the wrongdoer? Forgetting first would certainly make it easier to forgive.
Still,’forgive and forget’ is the phrase that is more generally accepted and I think I know why. When people say they forgive, they are really only saying that they will refrain from seeking revenge. They wont try to get even, but they fully intend to learn a valuable lesson from the experience. This taints the quality of forgiveness given. Such forgiveness is not unconditional and free because it results in the wrongdoer being treated differently than he was before his transgression. True forgiveness restores the wrongdoer to the same stature and privledges he had before his transgression. There is no one keeping an eye on him making sure he cannot harm a second time.
Doesnt it seem logical that unconditional forgiveness would have a better chance of getting the transgressor to repent and change his ways? Maybe, but how many of us would risk our welfare on such a chance?